Mommy plus Five

My 365...

This weekend has been one of the single most amazing weekends of my life. Not only because I reunited with my son Brandon, and his girlfriend Amber, although that was MOST epic!!! Not only because I got to meet my very first grandchild who is without question the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen since I held my boys in my arms, again one of the single most awesome milestones of my life. It has been amazing because I realized that I can let go of worrying about my son.

In many ways I have felt like my life is on hold until I know my babies are grown and in families of their own. I have not worried about Garrett for several years now. He has his own home that he loves, he supports himself and lives his life the way he wants to and I know he is happy. Then I look at Brandon and see the man he has become, and see how much he loves Amber and his son and he is taking care of himself...I no longer have to worry. I am so proud of both of them.

My daughter removed herself from my life, so I had no choice but to let go. I would love to say I am proud of the women she has become, but I do not know who that woman is? I honestly do not know anything about her life or the man she married.  I thought I did, but I could not have been more wrong unfortunately.  I may never know them, and not because I don't want to, but because that is what she wants. She insists that I was the worst mother in the world, that I ruined her life.  No, not true, you are the captain of your own life not me.  "Mommy Dearest" is not a hat that I can wear, I happen to think...know...that I am an amazing mom.

So that leaves two. Casey has definite plans, and he knows where he wants to be in life so I know he will be fine. Blake is only 9, but such a loving, smart and amazing young boy who I know will grow into an amazing man just like his brothers. How cool is that? Yay mom!

I was listening to an amazing speaker this weekend, and she said...

"There are people who have been pissed off since they came out of the womb.They marinated in pistosity. That is where it all started, pistosity! Stop spending so much time worrying about why you went through what you went through because you start giving it more value than what it is worthy of and you stop trying to do what you were meant to do with your life because you spend too much time worrying about what happened."

Oh my God, so true!

There are two people in my life like this. Pissed off at the world since birth. They go through life moaning and groaning about how the world has done them wrong and that is the only thing they accomplish in life. And I say to them STOP. Nothing happened in your life to determine the person you have become today. YOU and you alone determine your outcome in life. You may scream to the world that your life is perfect, but believe me, those around you see a very different you. If you were truly happy with your life, you would not go through your day to day existence being so mad at the world. Calling people in your life a waste of space. That only sheds light on how unhappy YOU are. And I say to you, let it go!

Today will be over at midnight, and that is another day gone that you can not get back. Time slows down for no one. Stop wasting it being mad at the world.

*exhale*

My photo of the day...Gifts from Blake.  He found these in a gum ball machine at the grocery store by our house.  He has decided that he must have all of them for Amber, and all of them for me.

 How can one look into his beautiful blue eyes and not believe in a greater power?

Blake wants everyone to be happy, and he knows how to love.  So blessed I am.  This mama is so blessed.  :)

Music I am listening to today, Sasha Dobson.

Until next time...