Mommy plus Five

My 365...


They need to make one of these for moms.  Not that I am hearing, seeing or speaking any evil, however lately it seems I need to put duct tape on my ears, eyes and mouth so I do not say something I will regret.  Not regret because I do not believe in what I have to say, but regret because it is not my place to say anything at all.  A hard lesson/milestone for a mom to accept.  I will get there...eventually...I hope...or...not.  See?  So much work I need to do in order to progress to the next level of motherhood, but it is hard.  It is hard when you love your children so much it hurts.  Some days I feel like I want to scoop them all under an impenetrable bubble and keep them safe.  They grow too fast. 

*sigh*

I had a conversation with Casey yesterday that is still ringing in my ears.  He wants to join the military.  It has been his dream all his life to enter into the armed forces, and I know it is something that will make him happy, proud and offer him the adventures in life he seeks.  I also know in my heart that he will be amazing doing just that.  But he is my baby.  I still see Casey as my sweet, fragile, vulnerable young man which is very bizarre because he has NEVER been that.  Casey is so strong and so smart.  The reality of Casey is bravery and brilliance.  For the first time ever, as we were having this conversation, I found myself...heard myself saying, "awesome Casey, that would be perfect for you."  Inside I was dying.

As a mom of many, I have always looked at each of my children and thought I knew exactly the adult they would become.  Out of the five, I have only been accurate about one thus far.  Not that the other four have crashed and burned, but two have created their own path that works for them, one is just starting to make those "life's" choices, and one is still a child.  If a new mom were to ask me for advice I would say, "Throw any and all expectations out the window now!  Ultimately your child will surprise you, and you have very little control over their tomorrows.  You may think you do, but sooner or later you will see that you did not.  And if you try to force them in a direction that works for you, you may lose them."

The one son that I have underestimate the most has been Casey.  Life up to now has been very difficult for Casey due to circumstances and challenges beyond his control.  However,  he is skyrocketing above all expectations.  He is proving me wrong, and I could not be happier or prouder.  Casey is a force to be reckoned with and I am happy to report he will surprise all of us.  He will be our shining star.  :*)

And now for some lighter news....

It is snowing!  Sort of, more sleet/snow/rain, but at least the weather widget has redeemed itself.  I was getting ready to drag that bit of programming into the recycle bin for not being even remotely accurate for weeks!  To be honest, I am not ready for Spring.  I love the winter so much!  I am sure once Spring arrives I will be happy, who is not happy for Spring?  My new bike will be here this week, so Spring will be great for more adventures with the boys...on wheels!  It will be awesome I am sure, but I am not ready to say goodbye to snow.  Come back!

My photo of the day, the drops did start as snow.



Speaking of adventures, it really tires my babies out.  When we have full busy days like yesterday, they are very laid back and relaxed the next day.  I need to keep them running more often.  Casey and Blake are very quiet and reserved today.  I am not used to this!

Music I am listening to today...CBR.

Until next time...