Mommy plus Five

My 365...

Family is family, and family is precious.  So what happens when the family you love, respect and cherish becomes stressed and strained and pushed to the limits by the actions of one or more people?  Do you step back and pray that things will change?  Do you take the time again, again, again and again to say "This is not working, it is wrong, please stop!" and hope it works out.  Pray that all the words you speak are not falling on deaf ears?  Or...  do you cut your losses and run...again?

The greater good.  What exactly does that mean?  Up until now I would have sacrificed anything to have my family together, but I am quickly learning that having outside insincere and dishonest people as part of my family causes so much pain for the many in order to appease the few.  This is a dangerous choice.  It is as if the few become the focus at the expense of the many.  That can't be right.  The many suffer, lose ground with each other...with life and for what?  Opening your home to an opportunistic victim?  Not fair, not fair at all. 

What infuriates me the most about all of this is that the one person I...we...are sacrificing the most for can not see that.  This person would rather live a life of complete uncertainty rather than live safe and warm in the arms of a family who loves him, and try to make a future for and above all protect the "one" person in his world he should love more than life itself. 

There are people who come in and out of our life all the time.  From the day we are born until the day we die.  Up until now I have never regretted knowing not one of the people who have come in and out of my life.  Not one.  Came close a few times...but never felt complete and total disdain for anyone.  I came to the realization that those people have little value in my life anyway so I moved on.  Until now...

Most people who come into your life uplift your spirit, sweeten the life you live and sincerely appreciate all the love and opportunity you have given them.  Others are complete and total anchors.  They bring you down, hold you back, "un"inspire, deceive then take...take...and take some more never once showing thanks or appreciation.  It is as if they feel entitled somehow.  No.

Can this problem be fixed?  Is there a solution?  Of course there is.  There is no problem so great that a solution can not be reached, however, it takes some work from all sides.  Up to now, all the work has been on ours.  And we have grown weary.....

"If you could sincerely and honestly see and appreciate the sacrifices we have made and continue to make for you...we would not be in the situation in which we find ourselves today.  Period."  You are blind and a fool to love, or what you perceive to be love for someone who is not worthy of that love for they do not give it back.  Not really.

Next steps?  I honestly have no clue, and that is not a way I like to live.  Few things in life work without a plan.  I do not function well without one either.  It is my obligation as a mother to focus on the many.  It is my obligation as a mother to give "all" that I have to Casey and Blake, and my obligation as a wife to fix their broken father.  If this means that I have to say goodbye to you, then I say goodbye. 

It is really hard to breathe when part of your heart goes missing, however, my box of "second chances" is empty.  Every new day that I sacrifice to stress, anger and sadness is a day I will never get back.  No more.  Our days are precious, and we have every right to enjoy every last one of them. 

My children make choices in their life that "they" have to live with, not me.  I do not have to endure the bad that comes along with those choices because if it were up to me, they would have chosen much differently.  Now, as your mother, it is my obligation to let you live that choice.  If you come to the realization that maybe it was not such a great choice after all, I will be here with a soft place to fall....always.  Always. 

No more stress, no more lies...no more tears.  And to the person who has brought the stress, sadness and conflict I close my door.  At least until you can get your life together.  I was not placed on this planet to fix you, I was placed on this planet to love, cherish and nurture "my" family.

My photo of the day...

I have been so mad at Ducati these past few months.  He has been nervous, persnickety and downright obnoxious.  This morning I realized the he is just responding to all the stress of late here at home.  He runs around the house ready to snap at any moment, and to be honest, I can't blame him.  He is good dog.  Very sensitive, loyal and caring, especially where his boy Casey is concerned.

So to Ducati I say, "I'm sorry buddy.  It will get better, I promise."


Music I am listening to to day...Coldplay



Random Link of the Day...Countdown to Thanksgiving, recipe #6

Until next time..."Sometimes doing the right thing hurts, but it must be done."

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Love,