Mommy plus Five

My 365...

Some more beautiful color from my world today. I have always said that the Fall and Winter are my favorite seasons, but since living in this new house I have a new appreciation for Spring and Summer.

I was thinking today about being a mother, and what it means to be a good mother. As a mom I have always corrected my children where they needed correction.

"It is not my friend and me, it is my friend and I."

"Don't chew your food with your mouth open."

"Take care of your body, stop eating so much unhealthy food."

"Close your legs when you are sitting down. Act like a lady...or act like a gentleman!"

"Watch your language."

"If you have nothing kind to say about someone, do not say anything at all."

"Stop being so negative about everything."

"It is not necessary to shout, I hear you just fine."

What does all this mean? This means I care about you, I want you to be your best, I want you to shine.

What this does NOT mean is...you are not good enough, you will never amount to anything, you do not meet my expectations so I am throwing you out with yesterday's garbage.

When did being a good responsible loving parent become being an abusive, uncaring, judgemental BAD parent?

Well it has not. As far as I am concerned it is my responsibility to raise a self assured, healthy, positive child into a well mannered, well adjusted, confident adult.

I was not judging you, I was not telling you, "You are not good enough", I was simply telling you to be your best. I was telling you your behavior is unacceptable.

It is so easy to blame our parents when life does not turn out the way we want it to isn't it? I say enough of that. My parents were not perfect, but they loved me. If I was doing something they did not approve of, they told me.

If they did not care, they would not have said a thing.

If you look within yourself you will see that you were loved. Did I judge you harshly? No, I "parented" you and I did my best because I love you.

You have made your choices and now you live your life. Your parents were not perfect, but they love you. You may choose to throw us out with the bath water because we do not give you everything you want when you ask for it, but we are not going anywhere. I am still your mom and will always be. No one or nothing can change that.

You will understand this someday when you have your own children. At least I hope you will. I hope you will love your children enough to tell them when they are behaving badly. I hope you will teach your children proper manners and how to always be respectful of others. I hope you teach them proper grammar and how to spell the simple words. Tell them "the fire is hot, do not touch it"...rather than stand by and watch them burn because you are afraid you might hurt their feelings being honest with them. Hopefully you will be blessed with a little "you" so you will understand me.

This is a picture of my mom's beautiful HUGE family. My grandparents were very strict and you can see the respect from each and every one of those children. Their lives may not have been perfect, but I can bet they did not spend their adult life blaming all of their own short comings on their parents. I know my mom did not. She loved and respected her mother and father until the day she died.

I am a mom, I am a great mom, I will always be a mom and I love my children. Once you leave my nest it is up to you where and how you fly. My nest will always be here. It will always be that soft place to land should you chose to land here.

And to my mom, my grandmother and my auntie Magdalena, thank you for all the love and respect you shared with me. I love you.