Monday, January 30, 2012

January 30, 2012

My 365...

Happy Monday.

Blake and I watched a movie last night, and although it was a great movie, I woke feeling in a bit a funk.  My sister recommended the movie to me.  She really loved it, and said "all" fathers should sit and watch this movie.  The movie is titled Courageous

It was a good movie in that it makes you think.  The cinematography is top notch, the script good.  It is very religious, with a great deal of "God" talk.  I am not saying that is a bad thing, however it is definitely not everyone's cup of tea when it comes to movies and I respect that.

The movie focuses on the critical role of father in a child's life.  Through a series of plot twists and turns, the characters in the movie, the father characters, realize that they need to commit to being the best father they can be for their children, and they sign a contract to do just that.


Here is the problem I had with the movie....

What about mothers?  The role of the mothers in this movie was more of support role.  I agree, the role of a father in the life of a child is critical, however, some children don't have fathers.  Or some have fathers who are not capable of making that level of commitment to their children.

Take my children's father for example.  He is a good man.  He is a great provider, but he is a terrible father.  He is not involved in the lives of our children at a deeper level because quite frankly, he does not know how to be.  It is not in his genetic makeup.  His mind does not go that deep.  Why?  To be honest, I wish I knew, but it is what it is. 

So where does that leave my children?  Forever destined to fail because they did not have the influence of a strong father in their lives?  NO.  What about me?  What about all the moms out there who are 100 percent involved and committed to their children?  Are we not just as important in the future character and stability of our children?  YES, of course we can be....of course we ARE.

So why the funk?

The funk came as a natural reaction to realizing that I am in this alone.  Jack has not ever been or will ever be more than a provider for this family and it makes me sad.  For a micro second I stop and think "what if" things were different.  I know, waste of time.  Wondering "what if" does nothing more than steal time from "what is" here and now.

My wedding anniversary is coming up in just a few days.  Almost 30 years I have been married to this man.  For better or worse.  We made it.  The truth is, we do the best we can with what we have.  Where one parent falls short, the other carries the load.

It does not take only a strong father to raise a child, it takes a strong mother too.

And to my children I say, "I'm sorry."  I am sorry life did not provide you with a stronger father.  But I will always be strong for you, here for you, and love you until I draw my last breath.  Just be patient with me...I am still learning.  :)

My photos of the day...

"I love you mommy."

***Doggy Daily***
Cooper found a soft place to lay his head.  :)  This photo was taken by my son Brandon, Cooper's daddy.  :)

Music I am listening to today...Nickel Creek

Random Link of the Day...Courageous

Until next time..."Never take for granted the gift that is your children.  Never take lightly your responsibility to be the best mother and father you can be."


Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Love,


Deb aka AbcsOfra said...

Wow! I can so relate to the comments on this particular blog post. I have a long marriage as well....and also a Dad who was a provider but not an active role in our childrens' lives. I have come to the conclusion that our children will be what they will be. Yes, participative parents with strong values and guiding principles definately make an impact but even with all of that (be it from one or both parents) things can still go wrong in their lives. We did the best we could for our oldest son from this marriage and yet he still is faltering in life. Even he admits that it is not what we did or didn't do during his childhood. I guess the point I am trying to make from all of this...take the positive out of all that is positive in your lives and focus on that. If your children see that you and your hubby are happy with your family life, they too will be happy. They probably won't care which parent is there for which concert or special thing...just so long as they have someone cheering them on...isn't that what really matters? And they are fortunate that they have two parents still together and in their lives at all. The glass really and truly is half full in your situation...not half empty. Keep that in mind. It will all work out in the end. And even with the best home environment, there is no guarantee written on their bottoms at birth that all will go well after their upbringing is done. Enjoy them!

Veronica said...

That is SO true Deb!! Thank you so much for your reply. And yes absolutely, my glass is always and shall forever be half full. :)

Congratulations on your long marriage as well! It is so rare these days. And all the best to your eldest son. I think they all struggle to find their way at some point in life. Hopefully he will find his path. My oldest is my daughter and she has been out of our life for sometime now. Maybe some day she will find her way home.

Veronica <3

Welcome to Mommy plus Five

I am a work from home mom of five amazing children, and five beautiful grandchildren. Enjoying my 50's and all that life has to offer.

Time to start a new 365.

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