Wednesday, October 13, 2010

October 13, 2010

My 365...

Crystal clear blue skies, and a perfect 67 degrees.  It is impossible to feel anything but wonderful on a day like today.  So how do we feel?  Wonderful.  :)

The headache from yesterday is just about gone, and hopefully I do not feel that bad ever again. It is so hard to concentrate on anything when you brain hurts so much.

I have come to a hard realization in the last 48 hours.  I have realized that no matter how well you raise your children, no matter how much love you give them, there is always a possibility that one or more of them will chose a path that is not what you had hoped for them.  They will become a person that you do not recognize, one that you do not know.  And there is not a thing you did wrong, and not a thing you can do to change that.  Definitely the hardest pill to swallow for this mom, knowing that I did everything right, or thought I did, but I have lost them anyway.

It is not a rare occurrence, unfortunately this happens to a lot families.  There are many factors that shape the lives of our children that we do not have control over.  We think we do, I certainly thought I did, but have later learned that I had no clue.  I  pray that time will change things, but am finding it difficult to have the patience to let that happen.  Some days I feel the strength to let go only to find that the next day or two, I am desperate for everything to be okay.  For everything to be back to normal.  I reach out hoping to make a connection, only to be met with indifference and a coldness that I never thought I would feel from one of my own children.  I step back, try to shake it off and move forward.  But it is very hard.  It is very hard to accept that any child of mine could be that heartless.

So what is a mom to do?  Call 911?

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Yes hello, I am a mom, and two of my children have flown from the nest and they won't speak to me!"

"Lady, welcome to reality.  It happens, get over yourself!"

"Noooo!  I can't get over myself, I want my babies back!"

If only it were that easy.

Then a sweet sound breaks the silence.


"Yes Blakey?"

"Give me a hug!  I love you mommy."

"I love you too Blakey."  :)

"I love you too mom."

"Thank you Casey, I love you more."

Until next time...


Welcome to Mommy plus Five

I am a work from home mom of five amazing children, and five beautiful grandchildren. Enjoying my 50's and all that life has to offer.

Time to start a new 365.

Thank you for stopping by! :)

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