Tuesday, February 7, 2012
February 7, 2012
4:00 PM | 
Posted by
Veronica |
My 365...
I am always talking about my sons and how amazing they are...that is because they are amazing...but I have five children. Where is the 5th child that I gave birth to, and why is there never any mention of her?
I do have a 5th child, actually, she is my first child and only daughter.
My first born.
She has graduated from college, married, and living her life in another city. I never mention her because by her choice, she is no longer an active part of our lives. Her father and I were not perfect parents. She has much anger towards us, and as a result, has decided to cut her entire family out of her life.
No, Jack and I were not perfect parents, but we are good parents. We did not insist on the fairytale wedding for our only daughter because at the time that is not what she wanted. I recognize that I should have tried harder to give her that special moment. Perhaps I should not have left it up to her and simply made it so.
We were not invited to her graduation, but since when do proud parents need an invitation to celebrate incredible amazing milestones with their children? We should have been there...invitation or not...because we love her and we are proud of her even if it meant sitting in the back row and watching from a distance.
I know all these things and I have apologized and begged forgiveness for not being perfect. But forgiveness is not up to me.
My only communication with my daughter is through reading her blog. It is the only way I can see what is going on in her life. But that is not the only reason I read it. I read it because I love it. She is an articulate writer, an amazing photographer, and a very talented artist and crafts person. She rocks!
In reading her blog I have discovered that she is expecting her first child. The night I read the news I went running and screaming through the house well after midnight to tell everyone I could. "Wake up, wake up, she is having a baby!!!" I am so very happy for her because I know this is what she has dreamed of and I know she will be an amazing mother. I even called her brother and woke him up to give him the news. He was thrilled for her...we all are.
My message to you my darling girl is this...
I would tell you to sit in a dark room with no noise and no distraction. Close your eyes and breathe deeply, slow and steady. Where all you feel is the beating of your own heart, and the sound of air coming in and out of your body.
Visualize, feel that sweet, innocent, precious life growing inside of you. A life that shares your heart, body and spirit. Whatever you think...your baby feels. When you cry...your baby cries. When you are happy...your baby is happy. When you are angry...your baby is frightened. When you feel hatred and bitterness, your baby feels confused.
My darling daughter, open the door to your heart and soul and release the anger, the bitterness, the sadness and the hate. Feel it leaving your mind, heart, spirit and body. Leave only room for love, hope, happiness and joy so that your precious little one feels only those amazing emotions. Welcome forgiveness into your heart not for me, not for your father...but for you and for your precious child. YOUR precious child.
You are embarking on an incredible journey. You will feel every emotion on the spectrum with a heightened sense of intensity the likes of which you could have never imagined. It is all part of the experience. Just remember why you feel the way you do. It is perfectly normal. You are growing a life inside of you. How amazing and remarkable is that? How amazing and remarkable are you!
I hope you read this, and I hope it gives you comfort. I am praying for you honey. I love you so much and I am so incredibly hopeful for you. You will be an amazing mother because the daughter I know and adore has limitless love, courage and strength.
Let every single minute delicious moment linger. Enjoy this pregnancy and all the wonder that it comes with. Keep a journal...I know you already are because you are the queen of journaling. :) Bond with that precious little baby and you will be an amazing mommy because you ARE amazing.
Take care of you. <3
All my love,
mom
My photo of the day....
A message to you from Blake. :)
Peace.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Love,
I am always talking about my sons and how amazing they are...that is because they are amazing...but I have five children. Where is the 5th child that I gave birth to, and why is there never any mention of her?
I do have a 5th child, actually, she is my first child and only daughter.
My first born.
She has graduated from college, married, and living her life in another city. I never mention her because by her choice, she is no longer an active part of our lives. Her father and I were not perfect parents. She has much anger towards us, and as a result, has decided to cut her entire family out of her life.
No, Jack and I were not perfect parents, but we are good parents. We did not insist on the fairytale wedding for our only daughter because at the time that is not what she wanted. I recognize that I should have tried harder to give her that special moment. Perhaps I should not have left it up to her and simply made it so.
We were not invited to her graduation, but since when do proud parents need an invitation to celebrate incredible amazing milestones with their children? We should have been there...invitation or not...because we love her and we are proud of her even if it meant sitting in the back row and watching from a distance.
I know all these things and I have apologized and begged forgiveness for not being perfect. But forgiveness is not up to me.
My only communication with my daughter is through reading her blog. It is the only way I can see what is going on in her life. But that is not the only reason I read it. I read it because I love it. She is an articulate writer, an amazing photographer, and a very talented artist and crafts person. She rocks!
In reading her blog I have discovered that she is expecting her first child. The night I read the news I went running and screaming through the house well after midnight to tell everyone I could. "Wake up, wake up, she is having a baby!!!" I am so very happy for her because I know this is what she has dreamed of and I know she will be an amazing mother. I even called her brother and woke him up to give him the news. He was thrilled for her...we all are.
My message to you my darling girl is this...
I would tell you to sit in a dark room with no noise and no distraction. Close your eyes and breathe deeply, slow and steady. Where all you feel is the beating of your own heart, and the sound of air coming in and out of your body.
Visualize, feel that sweet, innocent, precious life growing inside of you. A life that shares your heart, body and spirit. Whatever you think...your baby feels. When you cry...your baby cries. When you are happy...your baby is happy. When you are angry...your baby is frightened. When you feel hatred and bitterness, your baby feels confused.
My darling daughter, open the door to your heart and soul and release the anger, the bitterness, the sadness and the hate. Feel it leaving your mind, heart, spirit and body. Leave only room for love, hope, happiness and joy so that your precious little one feels only those amazing emotions. Welcome forgiveness into your heart not for me, not for your father...but for you and for your precious child. YOUR precious child.
You are embarking on an incredible journey. You will feel every emotion on the spectrum with a heightened sense of intensity the likes of which you could have never imagined. It is all part of the experience. Just remember why you feel the way you do. It is perfectly normal. You are growing a life inside of you. How amazing and remarkable is that? How amazing and remarkable are you!
I hope you read this, and I hope it gives you comfort. I am praying for you honey. I love you so much and I am so incredibly hopeful for you. You will be an amazing mother because the daughter I know and adore has limitless love, courage and strength.
Let every single minute delicious moment linger. Enjoy this pregnancy and all the wonder that it comes with. Keep a journal...I know you already are because you are the queen of journaling. :) Bond with that precious little baby and you will be an amazing mommy because you ARE amazing.
Take care of you. <3
All my love,
mom
My photo of the day....
A message to you from Blake. :)
***Doggy Daily***
Rockstar and the Diva.
Music I am listening to today...Eva Cassidy
Random Link of the Day...Tree of Life
Until next time..."There is no greater love, than the love of a mother for her child"
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Love,
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