Sunday, February 5, 2012

February 5, 2012

My 365...

Hello Sunday.

Have you ever tried to breathe when there is a big gaping hole right smack dab in the middle of your chest?  That is how I feel today.  *sigh*

I have five children, three of which are grown adults.  I love them all very much, and each one holds their own separate corner of my heart, each special to me for different reasons.  Brandon is my middle child, just as I am a middle child, and for that reason we have a special connection.  I see so much of me, in him.  He is fiercely stubborn and independent just like I have always been.  He has come in and out of my life for the past two years, and our relationship has been strained to the limits and beyond.  But he came back.  He came back to this family who loves him and brought with him my first grandchild, the latest love of my life.  <3

Brandon moved home this past July, with his son Cooper.  During that time I have had the pleasure of reconnecting to one of the most amazing humans in my life, and bonding with my grandson.  What a pleasure and a privilege that has been.  Even though I knew it was a temporary situation until he was able to find a home of his own, I never took the time to prepare myself for the day he would be leaving again.

That day is today.  :(

He is moving to another town, and I am going to miss him SO much.  Miss the 2:00am conversations about things that he loves.  Miss his funny, intelligent, articulate rants about everything and anything or even nothing at all.  Miss watching him grow into the most amazing father I have ever met to his precious son Cooper.  What an honor that has been.  Miss that sweet little baby Cooper coming to greet me every day and sit on my lap and chill for a while.  Oh goodness I am going to miss that.  And miss his little dog Raymond who never missed an opportunity to come lay at my feet and protect me from...Miss Lilly.  Or to sneak in my room at night to sleep on my bed when Brandon was not watching. 

His plan is to start college in the summer and I am very proud of him.  He is on the right track, but here I sit crying like a baby.  All four of my boys here with me in my room telling me "it is going to be okay mom."  I know it is, but what about family dinners?  What about moments like this when I have all four boys sitting together with me making me laugh and cry all at the same time?  Thank goodness for Kori, she is being so sweet and supportive too.

Life is a series of changes and adjustments.  I know this because I have been at it for 50 years and have experienced the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows and have always managed to come out better and stronger, ready for the next moment.

How can it not be okay when I have the most amazing sons in the world?  Garrett, the big boss man who "always" takes care of us.  Brandon, my nomad who is not afraid of anything, Casey my soldier who stands guard and protects us from harm...and zombies, and Blake, my heart, my smile and the comedic relief this family needs to get through this thing called life.  And no matter what, these four boys have always been, and forever shall remain, loyal to each other, loyal to this family, and loving and supportive of me...their mom who loves them more than life itself.  I am so incredibly blessed to have them in my life.

Yes I am sad, but Brandon is leaving on the very best of terms.  He told me he loves me, and Lord knows I love him.  I have all the confidence in the greatness that is Brandon, and I know my sweet grand baby Cooper will be safe, loved and have the best life ever, because he has the most awesome father in the world.

My boys are the strong corners of my heart that keep me alive and ticking and happy as any mom can be. And at least I know, with my boys, wherever they may go, and wherever they may land, they will always be close to me.  :)

Now pass me a tissue for my nose please...

My Photo of the Day...

Brandon and Blake.  Of course I made him pause for a photo.  :)

 ***Doggy Daily***
My little ragamuffin Rayray.  I am going to miss him.
Music I am listening to today...Patty Griffin

Random Link of the Day...Very Cool

Until next time...

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Love,


Welcome to Mommy plus Five

I am a work from home mom of five amazing children, and five beautiful grandchildren. Enjoying my 50's and all that life has to offer.

Time to start a new 365.

Thank you for stopping by! :)

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