Tuesday, March 4, 2014

March 4, 2014

My 365...

I am not having a good day.  I hate it when that happens.  :*(

One of the hardest lessons for me as a mother, is learning to let go.  All that has ever mattered to me are my children, so letting go is suffocatingly painful.  Letting them make bad choices, letting them fail, letting them fall on their faces is virtually impossible for me.  But a good mother knows that it is necessary.  It is necessary to reach a point in life where you step out of the way, tell them to fly, and pray that they can.  I need to work on that.  I also need to work on not rushing in to apply band aids, and pick up the pieces.  That is not for me to do anymore.  Well, except for Blake.  Blake is 12, and he still gets mommy band aids.  :)

My problem is that I see disaster, I identify horrendously bad choices, and I say STOP!  "Dude, you are running with scissors....you need to STOP!"  Yes, it is a metaphor, no one is running through my house with scissors...but you get the point.

And don't mistake my angst for someone who is controlling.  I am not trying to control anyone, I am simply using the intelligence that the good Lord gave me, and am making observations.  The person, or in this case persons, who are the cause of the conflict we are currently experiencing, will never be accepted by me or ever be welcomed in my home because of the choices they made.  And not because I did not try.  I did, and they proved to me that I was right in my initial assessment of them.  I can say with absolute certainly, that anyone with the slightest modicum of intelligence and decency would not with disagree with me here.

The truth of the matter is, that it is not up to me should my son decide otherwise.  He is an adult, and he can make his own choices.  I will respect that.  I will step aside, and I will let go.  However, the rules of my home will never be compromised or disrespected.  I do have complete and absolute control over what happens in my home.  If that is a problem for anyone...the door swings both ways.

Will my respect for my son be forever changed?  Unfortunately yes, he lied to me.  I am completely disappointed with the choices he is making, and I will not pretend that I am okay with them.  I will always love him. Right now I am feeling angry and betrayed, and rightfully so....but I will get over it.  Eventually.

I have been exhaling all day, and keep forgetting to inhale.  Blue is not a good color on me.  Time to inhale before I pass out.  I need to order up some oxygen.


I would love to say..."this too shall pass"...but unless someone breaks a serious brain cell or two, no good shall come of this.

Something that did make me happy today...another amazing video created by my son Garrett and his friend Travis, for their company Red Mountain Creative.  I love it!

The Village At Meridian from Red Mountain Creative on Vimeo.

Until next time...

Miss Lilly live...

Miss Lilly knows when I am feeling blue.  Ducati and Miss Lilly have not left my side all weekend.  Dogs are awesome.  They just know...

Music I am listening to today...Agnes Obel, Riverside

The Daily V...


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Welcome to Mommy plus Five

I am a work from home mom of five amazing children, and five beautiful grandchildren. Enjoying my 50's and all that life has to offer.

Time to start a new 365.

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