Mommy plus Five: September 19, 2014

Friday, September 19, 2014

September 19, 2014

4:49 PM |

Posted by Veronica |

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My 365, Day number 1,723.

Hello Dear Family,

It happened again, anxiety attack. From about 3:00 AM this morning, until I finally fell asleep after Blake left for school. The worst part is the tightness I get in my throat. It feels like a double-decker bus is trying to drive through my esophagus. Since I could not sleep, a little Internet research helped occupy my mind enough to improve my anxiety a little bit.

One thing I found that makes perfect sense is referred to as Globus Hystericus. That frightening tightening in the throat feeling is the worst! The good news is that it is all in my head...my throat is not closing off and I am not about to suffocate to death. But try telling that to my mind in the midst of a full blown anxiety attack. I won't believe you. "Oxygen, I need oxygen!!!" This also explains what happens to Blake when he gets upset. He immediately puts his hand to his throat, and tells me that it hurts. It is definitely an anxiety fight or flight response. My poor baby, I hate that he experiences it as well. :(

Gargling with warm salt water helps a little. Gargling with apple cider vinegar, helps a little. A quarter teaspoon of cayenne pepper in water...yikes! All three at the same time...forget about it! LOL, seriously though, oh my heck? My nephew gave me some great advice. He said to put ice in your hands, an ice pack to your face, the back of your neck helps. I am here to confirm that it really does help.

So why the anxiety? Life has been great lately. Granted, my wild child Casey is causing me some stress, but I just have to remind myself that he is 19, and needs to get the "wild child" out of his system. When I sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with him, I can see that he is fine. All the chaos he creates, and boy does he like chaos, is simply Casey flapping his wings. He likes to keep us all thinking he is off the rails, when the truth is he is simply being Casey. Casey has suffered with severe anxiety all of his life, and his response is to fly. My son has to be in constant motion. He simply can not sit still, or the anxiety takes him in a choke hold. He does enjoy the shock factor though...my little turd. He will be okay...eventually. :) Besides, one can never blame another on their own anxiety. My anxiety is mine to deal with and I have no one else to blame. OWN IT!

So what is the solution? This worked for me last night...

Name your Globus! Okay don't laugh. I said don't laugh..I know your laughing. Seriously though, I named my Globus Hystericus, "Gertrude the Hysterical." This way when I feel like she is causing me a problem, I tell her, "Gertrude! Chill the hell out you little bitch!" (Excuse my French.)

Music. Listen to some music. Find that song that puts you in your happy place. For me, it is two songs, Something to Believe In, by Parachute and Proud, by Heather Small. Put your songs on repeat, and dance like no one is watching, or just sit and listen. I did that this morning. The dogs looked so confused. And hum it. You can sing it, but the humming relaxes your throat muscles.

Halls honey-lemon throat lozenges work like magic. They soothe the throat, and add that touch of tingle to your throat when you inhale, so you know it is working. Your breathing that is. :)

Finally, drink some warm milk. It really does help. I am also suffering from a little reflux these days. I am pretty sure it is due to a new medication I have been on for my Rheumatoid Arthritis. Reflux definitely exacerbates Globus. The perfect storm for throat constriction let me tell you. The warm milk helps with the reflux and relaxation. And you are swallowing liquid, so you are sending a message to your brain that all is well...swallowing still works.

The most important thing for me is to make other permanent changes in my life. No food after 9:00 PM, an evening walk before bed, and a nice warm shower too. I have definitely noticed a change in my spirit since my bike riding has dropped off. The challenge is overcoming the anxiety enough to want to go outside and exercise. I know you don't want to hear this, but exercise truly is the key to a healthy life. Exercise is the magic pill. You must to keep your body moving.

So pass me some serious goose fraba baby. Mama needs to chill and remember that everything is going to be alright. Gertrude the Hysterical is not going to kill me. I need to let go of the things that I have no control over, and relax. ~~~~~ohmmmmm~~~~~

Happy Weekend planet! Have an amazing weekend everyone. If you happen to suffer from anxiety, know that you are not alone. I am right here with you.