Mommy plus Five: April 28, 2016

Thursday, April 28, 2016

April 28, 2016 - Denali, Week One!

4:38 PM |

Posted by Veronica |

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Good hello friends, Denali here.

I have survived my first week with my new human family.

Things I have learned:

Miss Lilly still does not love me. For some reason I can not even begin to fathom, she does not like her ears and or tail being bitten. Here all this time I thought she was a life-like dog toy, she is actually a real life dog! When Miss Lilly says "NO!" it is "NO!" If I do not get the message, I will lose my face. Got it. Maybe...

Chickens are friends, not food. Oh and their poop taste delightful.

Mama's sock monkey is friend...not food. Who knew?

When mama reaches down to hug me, and her shirt is hanging in front of my face, DO NOT BITE! There are boobies in there, and apparently they are not fond of sharp puppy teeth. I may never get my hearing back. I did not know such terrifying noises could come out of mama? Yikes!

I have mastered the stairs! Yay! No more smashing of my beautiful face into the hardwood when I lose control coming down. I've got this!

I bark when I have to poop...we are still working on the pee. I was raised in a barn after all. Speaking of poop, I did have access to the garden/chicken side of the yard because I am so small and floofy and beautiful. But because I poop SO much, mama has decided I must poop on the dog side of the yard. Honestly, I don't know what the big deal is?

I have been introduced to a crate. CURSES, CRATE, I HATE YOU!!! Mama has decided that sleeping in her bed is probably not a great idea for a future 150-pound canine, so she set up my "den"...which is code-word for "torture chamber." My humans have also discovered that if mama leaves the room, I go bat-shit crazy, and bark and cry like my tail is on fire. Hmmm...I love her, so what is the big deal? She said something about..."Oh great, now I can never leave the house again." Well duh, I could have told her that!

As for leaving the house...every morning and afternoon I get to leave the house. Mama pulls out my collar, and I know it is road-trip time. Time to go pick up my boy from school. I am not such a fan of car rides, though. My human Garrett is convinced that I must have been sedated on the car ride home from Washington as I was soooo good. Now you put me in the car and I am all over the place!! Ha, the joke is on them. :)

If you feel so inclined, go ahead, spend a ton of money on expensive dog toys. I will destroy them in zero seconds flat. A cheap water bottle, however...I love those! I can bat them around the room like a soccer ball, and they make a crinkle noise. And a rope, a nice, thick, marine-grade rope, is my friend. Love it!

Being nocturnal is a-okay. It is a Great Pyrenees characteristic after-all. Being nocturnal while sharing a room with mama...nope! Night is for sleep, day is for fun. Got it!

I ploop, and everyone thinks it is adorable. What the heck is a ploop you ask? I will be in the middle of walking, playing, eating or drinking, and my big, floofy body collapses to the floor. "Ploop!" I sometimes fall asleep with my head in the water bowl too. Oh well, just call me Ploop Mc-Stuffins!

I am growing, I am adjusting, I am healthy, I am happy. My human family keeps saying how much they love me! It sounds something like this...

"Oh my gawd! I forgot how much work a puppy is!!! He is such a little sh*t!!"

See, they love me. :)